parenting

Why do we try so hard?

The day that I realised the fact I was trying to hard I was lying on the beach watching my children play in the sand.

That day I realised that I was wasting my time, my energy and my resources to make my children super happy, super intelligent and super social but instead I was making us all miserable.

So I asked myself this question over and over again.

Why am I so desperate for our life to fit in the little box labeled “perfect”??

I came to a conclusion that I was trying so hard because I was desperate for my kids to think I was a good mum. I was also desperate for other people to see me as the “perfect mother and wife”. I was wasting my energy and my time wanting to be someone I already was. My children think I’m the best mum for them and I don’t need organic lunch boxes and non BPA plastic cups to confirm their opinion. The fact they come to me and tell me about their problems its the most precious to me,not the fact they wear matching GAP hoodies.

The fact my daughter is a lovely, empathetic little lady means more than the fact we posted perfect family pictures where we are all smiling and eat organic, non dairy and non-GMO ice cream while displaying perfect white teeth.

The moment when someone says my children are a real credit to us because they are polite and kind, not because my 8 year old can recite the periodic table by heart and already has his college plans sorted.

We would spend our days taking the kids out to “child friendly” places, the top places to visit and the places that everyone has been too because we wanted them to be “happy”. We would argue and tear each other apart just to have the “perfect” picture and the monthly photo-book.

The reality hit me when I realised that it was what I wanted and what I was expected to do as a “super mum”. To be up at 5am to do my hair and put my perfect make up on. To be someone I was expected to be. The media, family and friends. I felt under pressure to make sure my children achieve their academic abilities by the time they are 10 and that they will get to top schools and get top boring jobs.

Forgetting the most important.

The love, the time together, the family. Forgetting us.

When I watched my two children running away from the waves, building sandcastles with their hands only, collecting shells it hit me that I was the making the biggest mistake.

Sometimes my kids just need to be set free to do what they do best.

To love, laugh and to be just kids.

Peace and light

HQ

 

 

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